#blame shfiting

[furiousgoldfish]

After a while of abusing you, the idea that you're a human being becomes a threat to the abusers. It reminds them they did reprehensible and unforgivable crimes against another human being, and then instead of confronting remorse for it, they try to erase your humanity instead. They focus on convincing you that you somehow, are less than other humans, that you deserve this, that you're not good for anything else but this, that you asked for it, wanted it, that you have no human rights, no point of view, no perspective. That you have to take on their perspective of you, their view of how you should be treated. That their horrifying and cruel treatment of you is right and above criticism.

That's how far they go just to escape any consequences of abusing you, and once you believe them, once you feel that you don't deserve any better, they relax in thinking that the consequences will never come. That they can gaslight and brainwash you forever. And then they'll go back to abusing you. The entire scheme exists to enable them to abuse you and never suffer any consequences.

Just because someone manages to convince you that you're not human, doesn't make it true. Their lies cannot erase anyone's humanity. Victims realize what's been done to them when it's gotten too far, and they'll recognize they're dealing with an enemy who is trying to erase their humanity.

[azureflight]

So, I have just binged the first season of The Remarried Empress

And I have some thoughts:

First of all, I am really curious as to how Navier will react when she learns that her new husband has been preparing for a war of conquest against the country empire of her ex-husband, which also happens to be her home country. That war, is gonna be doozy.

Beyond that, however, their reputation is at an all time low and their have their work cut out for them in the Western Kingdom.

There was some merit to the argument that marrying an experienced, well respected lady who knows state craft would help with Heinrey’s image to become more serious, however, the circumstances of their affair did the exact opposite.

For now, it looks like their playboy king went and involved himself with an international scandal, having an illicit affair with the empress of the neighboring kingdom and getting himself in trouble.

Far from looking mature, he looks like a fool who almost got himself killed and a war started over his dick.

Navier, on the hand, looks like a cold and calculating seductress. It looks like as soon as her husband brought a mistress she immediately began to work on an out, seduced the obviously foolish prince and then jumped ship. It makes her look greedy, power hungry and potentially vindictive.

Not to mention, I won’t be surprised if people start to assume the real reason for the divorce was partially the affair between Navier and Heinrey and that Sovieshu didn’t like being cheated on.

Being a foreigner with an image of too reserved and “shrewd” was enough for the people of Western Kingdom to demonize Naiver, but with all the surrounding scandals, it is almost a given. This is some Helen of Troy level shit show, The Diplomatic Edition. 

And I don’t think her simply being a good queen will be enough. Yes, Navier is pretty great in the affairs of the state, understands how actual ruling works and is a highly qualified bureaucrat. Unfortunately, none of that matter to common folk, they don’t see it. They can tell when their own life gets better/worse, but it takes time for those effects to cascade, and the credit can easily be stolen, blame easily shfited, her normal queenly work, along with charities won’t be enough.

Not to mention, any future tensions with Eastern Empire will be blamed on her. People will either think she is the one doing it as revenge, or it is happening because of her. Either way, future war can easily be blamed on her, which would rapidly erode whatever goodwill or sway the crown has over their subjects.

They need to find a way to quickly ingratiate both of them with the public.

Looking at the way the relations were perceived in the Eastern Empire before the whole divorce shit show, it doesn’t look like actual politics of war has been initiated by the Western Kingdom. Heinrey and his crew were getting prepared, yes. But it doesn’t look like they had started to sell the idea of a war to the public. Before any action can be taken, the population and the army, nobility, merchant class and various other key holders need to be convinced that the war is righteous, just and necessary.

On that regard, I think Heinrey’s plant o declare himself emperor and rename his realm an empire can work, if done right.

People like bold young kings who try to grow the power of the realm. His declaration is sure to take over the news and scandals of his marriage, as that would be a major diplomatic shift involving all other realms. 

Symbolic as it may seem, titles and names actually hold a lot of weight. A peer suddenly starting to call themselves with a higher and more prestigious title, is sure to not only irk potential rivals, but also make them feel agitated and threatened. After all, why would you start calling yourself emperor, if you aren’t gonna try to exert dominion over fellow kings, or try to directly challenge the other emperor?

This move has the potential to be seen arrogant and foolish, but done right, it could be a moment of national pride for Western Kingdom’s folk. I might be reading too much into this, however, from Heinrey’s inner dialogue as well as his brief conversations with comrades, it looks like the people (or at least some people) in the Western Kingdom feel like they are being looked down upon by the East, and have immense pride in their own military might.

So this declaration could be their moment of standing up for themselves and their own worth, refusing to be content with a lesser position. If done right, if sold right, this could immensely chance the current dynamic. Then Navier being a well known and skillful empress would actually come into play.

People may not care about it by default, but once conversation shifts to whether Western Kingdom deserves to be an empire or not, having a “real” empress, a highly regarded lady with exceptional breeding, would actually work to legitimize them. While Eastern Empire will have a lowborn, tactless, potentially fugitive slave, as their empress.

This could help rebrand any tensions between Western Kingdom and Eastern Empire. Instead of being about or caused by Navier, it would be about the west calling themselves an empire and the east trying to stop them. That could galvanize the public, the army, and would work well with the pride and ambitions of the nobility.

Another thing that could work, is a trade deal with Luipt to expand reach to another continent. It certainly fits the image of wanting to elevate the status and power of the Western Kingdom. In this case, Navier and Kaufman already being familiar, having a relatively close relationship and having already done the bureaucratic aspect of it once, helps. They could quickly arrange the deal and it would be a move that helps them not only domestically, but internationally.

The empress of the east gets divorced and the diplomat of the Luipt immediately goes to her new kingdom and gets a deal there? That makes it look like the actual power and potential of the east was the empress. It sends the signal that Western Kingdom’s imperial ambitions have merit and international support. That would shift the other kingdoms from hostile to adaptable, willing to change to whom they give more regard.

Another kingdom so readily and swiftly accepting their deal would also makes westerners feel validated. And again, an ambitious trade project to another continent would quickly make the whole imperial deal legitimate act of national growth, instead of it seeming like a foolish playboy’s attempt to appease his manipulative lover.

There shouldn’t bee too much of a time gap between those two however, and it shouldn’t take too long to declare the whole empire thing either. Otherwise their impact on correcting the images of Navier and Heinrey as well as justifying their new titles would be lessened to the point of being irrelevant.

Beyond those, I wonder how the dynamic between east and west will playout. Sovieshu is a fool who is way in over his head. Can Heinrey use it?

We have seen both courtiers and loyal aides, as well as other nobles make loud and quite indignant objections to the whole divorce. They won’t all just change their loyalty, obviously. However, this could be a sticking point for many years to come, a wedge that can be exploited.

If Sovieshu antagonizes Navier’s family, that could greatly alarm and upset the other high ranking nobles. Surely, there will be those who will enjoy it as they would be rivals with Trovis, however, no noble, especially no duke, will like how quickly the emperor discarded and sabotaged such an elevated family. It goes against all of their senses of safety and specialty.

In these type of societies, most of the loyalty is owned to individuals, not to “people” or to the land. There are exceptions, obviously, however, it is entirely within the realm of possibility that with Navier’s marriage to Heinrey, several nobles who may be displeased with Sovieshu could start looking to the Western Kingdom as a better patron. If the west can start stripping nobles from the eastern empire, that whole war would not only be an easier sell, but way easier to win. Remember, all those nobles have their own armies.

Overall, I am quite excited for the second season, let’s see how it all goes. Maybe all of my guesses and prediction are wrong, maybe the story will go in an entirely irrelevant direction. I’m just here for the right and speculating is fun while waiting :D

[karatetaught]

@karatelives ; daniel :    you’re overthinking it. don’t think ; just be in the moment. mentor / mentee vibes ; always accepting.

    𝘄𝗮𝘀  𝗶𝘁 𝗼𝗯𝘃𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀  𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁  𝗵𝗲  𝘄𝗮𝘀  𝗳𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱  𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁  𝗻𝗼𝘄?   it  was  even  more  frustrating  that  he  couldn't  hide  it  from  his  sensei  and  that  mr  larusso  was  so  easily  able  to  call  him  out  on  it.   running  his  hands  over  his  hair,  he  let  out  a  small  groan,  shaking  his  head  as  he  refused  to  look  at  him,   "   sorry  mr  larusso.   i  don't  know  what's  going  on  right  now,    "   maybe  it  had  something  to  do  with  his  mom  showing  up  again.   as  much  as  he  was  glad  she  was  going  to  go  and  get    𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽    to  get  better,  it  had  definitely  felt  like  it  had  shfited  him  off  balance  a  little.   he  was  glad  that  his  mom  was  going  to  do  what  she  needed  to  make  herself  better  and  he  was  proud  of  that,  but  it  definitely  felt  like  he  had  to  face  the  fact  that  she  had  just  run  from  him  and  left  him.   he  couldn't  blame  his  mom  and  he  hated  feeling  like  this  right  now,   "   i  don't  think  my  head  is  in  the  right  palce  today,    "   robby  admits,  running  his  hands  over  his  hair,  glancing  over  at  him  for  a  moment  before  looking  back  at  the  ground.   he  hated  this,  he  didn't  know  how  to    𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀   what  he  was  feeling  without  lashing  out  and  mr  larusso  had  done  nothing  but  try  to  help  this  entire  time,   "   do  you  mind  if  we  just  call  it  quits  for  today?    "

[myriadxofxmuses]

"Fuck. Rose please. Please wake up," he pleaded as he shook her, shfiting her weight to free a hand and force open her eyes. What little hope he had was quickly diminishing and he slid to the floor in defeat, her lifeless body still in his arms.

He was too late. He hadn't been able to save her.  Not surprising. He wasn't a savior of anything. Though it was disappointing. Painfully so. He sat like that with her like that for what felt like an eternity, his mind going through every memory he had of her and archiving it. He may have been devastated that she was gone, but that didn't mean he had to dwell on it. Although he allowed himself to be reminded of how attached he'd been to her - vowing never to make the same mistake again.

Heavily he shifted from behind her and stood, picking her up to cradle her and take her to his car. He wouldn't have left her behind regardless of her last request.  His limbs felt as if they were running on autopilot as he slid her into the backseat like so many others before- the routine muscle memory at this point.

He paused once she was laid out, just staring at how peaceful she looked.  A tinge of jealousy tugged in his chest over her ability to achieve what he'd failed so many times before, the idea of everlasting darkness comfroting to him. Jealousy that was washed away by genuine sadness.  For the first time in his life he'd felt seen. And not just because she knew his dirty little secret. He felt like Rose really knew him. That she'd fully accepted him not only for who he was, but for what he was also. It was freeing to have someone so open to the darkness, helping it thrive.

She really was beautiful.

He shut the door and slid into the driver's seat and was stopped in his tracks once more, he finality of this drive weighing heavily on him.   A small thought crept ino his mind that it should have felt this sorrowful all those other times.  But it never did.  And that's because Ethan never cared about the bodies in his back seat. In his eyes, they had all been expendable.

Having Rose in the back felt wrong however. Aside from his recent indiscretion things had been going good for them - a completely unexpected outcome of their union. He felt freer than ever before because of her.  His sesions had grown more exciting, the satisfaction more eletrifying with her by his side.  She had been amazing to watch.

He glanced back at her lifeless body, despair running its cold hands over him. "You're a fucking bitch for this, you know that right?" he told her lifeless body "For all of it," he adding before turning back forward and starting the car with a sigh.

He remained silent as the car drove back out of the lot, off the main road, and onto the final stretch of their journey. His cold, black heart ached with the loss.

"Do you remember the night we met? At that bar downtown, BJ's?" he started reminiscing quietly through a dejected breath. He gripped at the steering wheel, his jaw clenching to stifle the anger and troubling sadness rising to the back of his throat. "You showed up, sticking out like a sore thumb, tooting your feathers, and you caught the attention of the whole place. Getting your number that night was more than just a big dick competition. I knew then that you would be trouble, but I couldn't stop myself from walking right into your trap."

He chuckled softly with the memory of when he first saw her in the bar that night. He remembered how starkly different she was from the rest of the female population. How she stuck out like a sore thumb and how he couldn't keep his eyes off of her.  One night was all it had taken for her to sink her claws into him.  One night that set them on the path to this end. 

And he blamed her.

"You put a spell on me Rose," he told her. "I don't know how you managed to do it, but here I am upset that you're gone. Which is something I've dreamed of happening ever since you started making me feel things by the way. But I never thought it would make me regret trying to manifest it into reality.  I just....I just didn't want to keep feeling...normal with you. Like we could really do this, that we could be what everyone else thought they were. That we could be happy."

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, turning off onto a slightly hidden gravel road. A thin layer of tears manifested over his eyes and he couldn't help the laugh of irony that fell from him.

"I know you won't believe me now, but I really did want this. All of it. I wanted us. Wanted you," he said swallowing back the lump in his throat as his voice trailed off. He still hated admitting it, even to himself, but what did it matter now?

"I fucked up with..." The nameless woman that had come between them would remain forever nameless, a vow forming that he would find her and kill her for causing all of this. "I fucked up and I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he started apologizing to her corpse, a few silent tears managing to fall to his cheeks. "Leaving would have been been bad enough on its own, you didn't have to go and do this. You didn't have to make things so final between us. It was very selfish of you," he scolded her, his pulled together facade shedding faster than ever the longer he spilled his inner most thoughts to her.

His car gently came to a stop once he'd reached his destination - the original burial mound for his victims. He had been much less apt at disposal back then, but he felt it fitting that she show be laid to rest with the beginnings of his demons' freedom, coming full circle in his lifecycle.

"I hate you for this," he choked out, a maniac laugh fell from him, quickly turning into quiet sobs. He clenched his jaw so tightly to try and stop it that it felt as if he would break his teeth. "I hate you," he repeated through choked breaths, lonliness taking over every fiber of his being.  "But I hate myself more for not being able to save you," he added almost through a whsiper, his sobs slowly gaining traction as he laid his head on the steering wheel and let it all out. 

continued from X

@writingxthexsilence​

 there’s was enough energy left to allow a small smile to stretch along her lips. An obvious stress in his tone. he was worried. and his coping mechanism; comedic sarcasm. “you’d love to watch me take my last breath.” she coughs as hand squeezes at her abdomen. It wasn’t looking too good for her. She was leaving herself vulnerable. out in the open to be snatched up. taken to some prison of a hospital to be experimented on. Eternity as a prisoner just didn’t have a nice ring to it. Death was a better option at this point, but she knew the gods would never grant her such peace.

 “I’ve managed to get to some weird storage unit of a place. kinda reminds me of–”she growls out in pain, trying to reposition herself against a wall. “your fun room. I-I don’t fuckin’ know where I am. woke up in a SUV. fought my way outta it. got shot a bunch and uh–” she manages to laugh, “ended up here. bleedin’ out.” she lays her head back against the cool concrete wall, eyes closing as she tries to steady her breathing. “if they find me…you gotta save me. okay?” she wasn’t one for theatrics, hates showing emotions, though Ethan was one to witness such break downs. Raw emotion she never usually allows anyone to see. he was different. He understood. It annoyed him, that she was certain of, but it wasn’t enough to push him away. and only if he knew just how much she appreciated him for that “there’s so much shit I haven’t told you–” 

  she feels her eyes well up with fresh tears, the taste of blood filling her mouth as she fights back the urge to cough, “just fuckin’ swear you won’t leave me behind, babe. even if it looks like I’m dead. You fuckin’ take my body and keep it somewhere safe if you have to–” another growl as she begins to cough. blood pours from her mouth and she knows she’s about to lose consciousness. “Don’t let them take me away again…don’t let them use me….”